First of all, happy new year to all of you who come across my rants. I know it's only a month late but hey, better late than never, right? Like most people, I try to make new year resolutions about not eating so much, working out more often, or whatever comes to mind a few hours before the clock strikes 12. A few years ago I realized that no matter how long or how short the list of these "improvements" that we make, we are always going to be bettering ourselves. It's a life long process and sometimes we add to the list and sometimes we take off the list. During this life-long process we keep making mistakes and we keep correcting ourselves to TRY to achieve perfection.
One of my life "resolutions" was to be more assertive. To be able to, as Nike says, "Just Do It." I am a very shy and timid person. It takes a lot for me to able to grab life by the balls and just do shit! And quite honestly, it was ruining my chances of experiencing new things. It needed to stop and I needed to take charge of my life instead of having my shyness take over.
I have come a very long way from who I used to be. That shy person that never had the guts to ask a pretty girl out to lunch is out the door. Just recently, I asked a beautiful lady who works at Target out to lunch. Obviously, it wasn't the first time I had seen her. There have been several occasions in which we have crossed paths and talked to each other. I decided that I'd ask her out to lunch. So I did and she said yes! I finally felt that confidence that I had been longing for.
Last November, I was asked to take charge of a Youth Group I was in because the leader was being transferred to another church. He, personally, asked me because he thought that I was fit for the position, along with another member of the group. Honestly, I thought he was insane! I couldn't run a group! But since I didn't want to say no and turn down such a wonderful opportunity, I said yes. Lucky for me, he had left me with a set schedule of what to do. Little by little I went on with the group of teens and as they learned, I learned.
Tonight was our third meeting and the topic tonight was the Lectio Divina (Divine Reading) which is studying the scriptures and word of God. Out of nowhere, I was talking about such touchy subjects with these teens. I was up there talking about my personal life and tying it in with the what the Bible was saying. I got so into it and I felt good about it! The best part was that they were are listening and looking and I was getting them to put some input of their own as well. I felt as though I was connecting with them and that made me feel proud of myself. It made me feel as though I was reaching out to them and letting them know that I understand where they are coming from. That is one of my goals in life. To be able to make a difference in someone's life. To be able to help kids from adolescents to teens to young adults. I am only 20 but I have things to say! I have words of wisdom for people! At least I think so.
I feel as though I have gone through some sort of transformation. In a good way, of course. I feel like a brand new me and I really like how I have had a positive look on life and this new me is definitely going to stay!
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